Approaching girls on Singapore streets [Daygame set #2]: girl – “i’m not shy, just feeling awkward”

28 Jun

Sometimes it is really hard in DayGame when the girl doesn’t help you out. The conversation becomes very one-sided & very interview-like. This set was pretty much like that. *GROANS*

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Pre-Approach Assessment of DayGame Set

Location: – Outside a neighborhood mall (along the North-East Line)

Girl details: – The girl was sitting all alone outside the mall in an open area, seemingly waiting for someone. She looked kind of young (but whatever la huh, this is just for conversational practice ).

Daygame dating blog Singapore set2 shy girl

Little Miss Shy

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DayGame Dialogue

Phronesis: Excuse me

*girl gives shy look*

Phronesis: I just saw you sitting alone, and i thought you looked really cute, so i came over to talk to you

girl: *smiles* oh okay *silence*

Phronesis: So you stay around here?

girl: yah*silence*

Phronesis: You look like a student, are you in poly?

girl: yah*silence*

[Insert some more random questions that i asked her, that resulted in the same predictable short responses]

*felt that i was pretty screwed anyway. so i decided to do some market research instead to check how girls feel on being approached*

Phronesis: Hmm, you seem a little scared, am i scaring you?

girl: er, no.. not scared.. just feeling awkward

Phronesis: Hmm, you’re not scared.. but you feel awkward because it’s the first time someone has approached and talked to you like this?

girl: yah.. *faint smile*

*super suay this time – THE BOYFRIEND COMES*

Phronesis: *looking at boyfriend* Hi !

*boyfriend gives me a faint smile + a “who is this!?” look to girlfriend*

Phronesis: *looking at girl* See you 😉 and pleasure meeting you.

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Post-Approach Analysis of DayGame Set:

  • I guess sometimes in DayGame, we also tend to meet people who are less socialized, and these are people who are less comfortable with holding a conversation with a stranger (Even if you flash your most harmless smile that is famous for disabling aunties)
  • The set was not giving me any answers that I could feed on to build a conversation
  • I responded (perhaps poorly) by asking more questions

Things I will do to improve future DayGame sets:

  • I am beginning to feel that open-ended questions may not work as well as I thought. Because when the girl is shy, it WILL become an interview, and that is a place we do not want to head
  • Perhaps I will have to think of content about myself to “feed” the girl, to allow her to pick-off these topics and ask ME questions..

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6 Responses to “Approaching girls on Singapore streets [Daygame set #2]: girl – “i’m not shy, just feeling awkward””

  1. Vincent Ignatius July 2, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

    How did you physically approach her? I don’t day game, but the knowledge I’ve built up of female psychology tells me that it’s better to approach indirect and then switch to direct very quickly. So make it seem like you were just walking by her and suddenly wanted to know the time or something. If you have a watch, just pretend you accidentally knocked the pin off and need to reset the time.

    • Phronesis (Singapore) July 2, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

      Hi Vincent,

      She was seated, & alone.
      So i just said “Hi”, waited the response (is was a “HUH?” look), and i delivered my usual opener
      “saw you from from over there, and i thought u looked really cute… so i came over to talk to you, to see what kind of person you are”

      There after, i made myself comfortable by sitting down beside her.
      and i started the questions.

      What do you think about this so far?

      On the part about Direct or Indirect, i’ve come to think that:
      1) In areas where the girl can “escape” from my approach if i fails badly — I do direct
      2) In areas where the girl cannot escape (like in this case, when she was seated) — to do indirect

      So far i’ve opened about 20 sets, mostly moving ( i wait for them to go pass me, and & tap them on their as i walk up to them from behind)
      i’ve been getting good results from this.. 50% number close rate
      And frankly, i havent tried indirect at all.

      Do you have a post on indirect approaching?
      and when do u use indirect? 😉

      • Vincent Ignatius July 6, 2010 at 9:19 pm #

        I still think it’s better to go indirect at first for both scenarios, but I rarely day game. Try both and keep track of your successes.

        I use indirect pretty much all the time.

  2. angelsin July 15, 2010 at 5:56 pm #

    I mostly do direct game but I started with indirect. I find it’s more natural for me to game them directly and I get better results this way.

    If you want to start indirect try Style’s “30 days to get a date” program. It’s a series of 30 challenges that will teach you indirect game from the grounds up.

    I think you should have used a time constraint here: “can I sit for 3 minutes?”, it’ll make her accept you more easily.

    Also you can make acquaintance with the bf (if you want to) and not look like a loser when you leave. You didn’t know she had a bf so he won’t act aggressively. Actually tell him his girl is gorgeous, ask them how long they’ve been together, congratulate them and go. Try this, you’ll look more socially tuned.

    If the girl doesn’t talk you should, give her details on what happened that day “before I say you, a dog walked by and he was really cute …” <– some story.

  3. Daniel November 12, 2012 at 11:25 am #

    Just my 2 cents, but your questions were a bit closed ended and did not really do much to make her remotely comfortable with you. For example, I tend to avoid asking strange women where they live. Instead, if I live in the neighborhood or come to the area a lot I mention something to hint at that. Since you know the girl will probably be shy because of the culture, sometimes it helps to ask leading questions. So instead of asking if she goes to the school, just take a shot in the dark that she is/was a student and ask what are a couple of her favorite classes. Some will give a meek answer, but many will actually give some detail since it is something they care about.

    One more note, I tend to give a more specific complement instead of saying they’re cute. For example, I tell a lot of women that I noticed their smile.

    Don’t worry about the boyfriend thing, but next time at least introduce yourself to him and maybe say one or two trivial things about how you were in the area for x and stopped for a chat. I try to not make a habit of complementing strange guys girlfriends as I found that some insecure guys get jealous and aggressive.

  4. ace February 27, 2013 at 11:08 pm #

    pathetic fucks

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