Why is Phronesis back?

25 Nov

I promised you guys that i’d explain why i’m back — and here i am. πŸ˜‰

I think Game is little bit of a paradox.

When you don’t know anything about it you get nowhere. But the more you know you know, you get so far ahead and develop such an abundance of choice that it seems that you become so willing to drop things – to go in search for even more answers.

I guess that was how my relationship ended. With every minor quarrel i had with her, the more i wondered, “is she the one?” — even though there was this other voice in my head trying to help her by saying “perhaps there is no perfect woman out there, perhaps they’re all like that, and PERHAPS you’re supposed to work things out instead of trying to find someone new all the time”.

But at the end of it all, i’ve found myself single again — trying to dig deep within me for the meaning in all this. It seems to have become a repetitive cycle for me. (it’s happened approximately 6 consecutive times?)

Usual Process of my Relationships

– Boy meets girl (in the usual bloody charming kinda way)
– Game game game
– Gets together with girl
– Gets kinda creeped out by girl’s neediness (which is perhaps a natural reaction)
– I start getting annoyed at girl for minor things (perhaps due to low attraction to her due to her newly revealed neediness)
– I start pondering whether 1) i should stick to the girl (because I can’t keep running away from these annoying arguments) — or 2) I should find someone that was “more compatible”
– I get opportunistically pissed at the next smallest incident OR just declaring that the feeling is lost
– I suggest a break-up
– I try my best to mend things in the prettiest way to keep her as a friend

Is this similar to a rich person who finds that he’s not yet contented with life, and decides to pursue even more riches in order to find “happiness” — Perhaps without realising that maybe happiness isn’t all about money, and perhaps he could satiate his thirst by merely looking within?

I’d like to ask all the PUAs out their opinions on these issues, hopefully you could share with me your perspectives — on how a man with Abundance should approach such issues

1. What do you think of the above? (u can be truthful) πŸ˜‰
2. Do you think that quarrelling (even though they’re small issues) equates incompatibility?
3. Does attraction always drop after you get attached to the girl?
4. Do you think that one should work on issues… or find someone more compatible?
5. How’d you know if you should settle down with the girl?

I’d be glad to know your answers in the comments below.

– Pondering Phronesis

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4 Responses to “Why is Phronesis back?”

  1. JJ November 27, 2010 at 12:00 am #

    1)Sounds to me that you’re looking for an independent girl. But there are two sides to the coin. I’ve had needy girls who want to call you all the time and independent girls who are just too busy with their lives to care about you. My take is that you’re looking for a girl who is more established than you, a role-model.
    2)Quarreling is part and parcel of a relationship. I see it as a form of negotiation. A dominant girl will air her views and is not afraid to negotiate power. Don’t let your ego control the situation. Sometimes, you don’t have to disagree by voicing out. It can be good enough to listen and nod. If it happens too often, then it might be time to break it up. For me, self-help books like “Men are from mars…” helped me see how men and women communicate differently and common comm pitfalls in r/s.
    3)If attraction drops after you get the girl, you’re only attracted to her body. Finding someone who have a great personality can allow you to see new facets of a person.
    4)If you find a repetitive pattern in your r/s, you might need to ask yourself what you want. I’ve dated enough women to know if someone i’m dating is trouble or a keeper.
    5)For me you will never know. It’s a decision you make and a commitment shared by both parties. That’s why arranged marriages generally last longer than free-love types. Too many choices can sometimes affect your focus on the current.

    • Phronesis (Singapore) November 27, 2010 at 1:48 am #

      Thanks for e reply JJ πŸ˜‰

      Actually, perhaps you’re right that i could go for a “more established” woman. In some of the relationships, i used to feel that (other than companionship) the girl wasn’t adding additional value to my life — i rarely learnt anything from them, they rarely gave me a new perspective to things, they rarely ever made me feel that they were improving me. So perhaps i could look to find someone that whom i look up to, someone who i perceive has more value than me, that can help me improve as a person..

      Perhaps that could even help me clean up Point 3-5. ;p

      Thanks!

      Phronesis.Singapore

  2. Richard October 29, 2013 at 7:13 am #

    Hi Dude… thinking of moving to Singapore myself….

    I’ve had several long term relationships, i’m talking 5 year plus mark and here is my advice…

    I was in way to early and way too young… you can wait until 40-45 odd…. and pick one considerably young 10+ years younger… let her deal with your health issues in old age, not the other way around….

    First… Get yourself financially setup…… I mean wealthy….

    Nice house, nice car, established… be somebody….

    Chicks come and go, keep multiple girls online at any one time and be blazee about it…

    When you are ready, pick one – you have to make a selection… it is a compromise… a BMW is better than a VW but costs more to run, a Merc is not quite a Porsche but Porsche costs more and so on…. trade offs….

    Then you have to sweep her off her feet and get her pregnant… LTR is for kids… without kids… what is the point… I thought there was one, but there really isn’t…. in the mean time get a maid you are in a great place for that… so you don’t have to play housewife to yourself…. that’s 75% of the advantage of an LTR covered right there….

    Ultimately what I can say about LTR is that girls are not that interesting… they like nesting…. gossiping, girlfriends, fashion etc… so unless you are into these things, even if she is the female base jumping champion, once you get her in an LTR she will revert to nesting mode…. borrring…..

    Get her in an LTR… but have that residence just for that…. have another place for yourself / your office etc…. and come and go from the home nest as you please…. use your game to run a few mistresses… easy to do when she has a kid to take care of….

    and hang back…. always be there, but never get too close….

    A man should be like the sun is to the earth…. just the right distance….

    The other alternative is to persuade two or three chicks to co-habitate and all be your girls…. Hugh Heffner style…… I think that is the ultimate solution….. the mormons got one thing right, even if you don’t like their cheap suits and bible thumping…..

    • Dani March 27, 2014 at 11:28 pm #

      So Mr Richard is suggesting polygamy. Polygamy is unfair to the other party unless it’s open to both sides. If you are enjoying the best of the world while your wedded nanny is at home “nesting”, that’s downright unfair. Do not impregnate your wedded nanny for god’s sake and let her out of the house to run her own life wild too. Maybe in that way, you will be attracted back to your own wives, among other women in the sty.

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